A Whole Lotta Nothin’!


Shocking news to nobody, I haven’t run since vacation. I did run on vacation but not since. It isn’t that I haven’t been able. I’m just a lazy fuck! I haven’t done much of anything else either but I’ll recap anyway. My nothings are always so fascinating.
Let’s see! I was in a real dither when I got back from Myrtle Beach because I had a case of the hafta-pee-nows. That lifted the following day but it made enough of an impression on me that I called for a doctor’s appointment the following Monday morning. My assigned doctor, who I’ve never actually met with, was booked up until the middle of May. He’s at this clinic abut 3 blocks from my house so he would have been the most convenient IF he was available. I wasn’t going to wait til the middle of May. I asked if there were any other openings with other doctors at that clinic sooner. There was one who had an opening in 2 weeks but if I wanted to go over to the main clinic (hospital-15 minutes away) I could get in Wednesday afternoon. I took that one. Of course by monday I was already feeling fine and my natural inclination was to just call back and cancel. However, I bit the bullet and headed up to see the man on Wednesday. He did the urine culture thing to check on infections and questioned me and probed and prodded me. No infection found so that was good. Since this was actually being done at the hospital and the lab was right around the corner I didn’t have to wait on the test results. I can now see the merits of driving over there for my appointments. Anyway I’m supposed to be monitoring  the situation after I’ve gotten back to my normal diet to see if I have any further problems. heh-heh! That’s normal diet as opposed to vacation diet. He asked me what my diet was like while on vacation. Am I the only one who actually tells my doctor what I eat? I told him I ate a good breakfast every day. After breakfast it was, for the most part, all pub food. He needed a clarification of pub food. So I’m like, oh…6 or 7 dozen hot wings, lots of pizza, fish and chips and so on. He looked kind of alarmed. Everybody I went with ate the same kind of things. Everybody I’ve ever seen on vacation eats that way, because… we’re on vacation. But the look on his face was that he’d never heard anything like that before. People must just tell doctors what they want to hear. The way I look at it, I’m there to get help so I better be telling him what I’m doing. Anyway it continues, he asks if I’d had much alcohol. I say probably 70 or 80 beers, not all Budweisers, some bar had $1 PBR bottles so I had a few of those. Again I get the look. “70 or 80 beers?” he asks. “Well, yeah! I was only there for a week and I didn’t keep count so that’s just a guess.” I say.
Anyway I don’t think I’ve actually had a beer since I’ve been back and haven’t had any more of those episodes, so I’m due. (for a beer… not an episode)

What else can I throw in here? I read a quick blurb in the local paper that Chloe, a river otter at the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington had been diagnosed as pregnant by their vet. A webcam was set up to view the pregnant otter and by the sounds of the article 225,000 hits had taken place in the since the pup watch began. The watch ended unexpectedly as Chloe died. It turns out that what had been diagnosed as pregnancy was actually a tumor on her liver. I’m sure this was terribly distressing to all of those close to the situation. But I just laughed my ass off when I read it. Couldn’t stop laughing for quite awhile. They say that comedy = tragedy + time. I’m sure that on his death bed, the vet’s last thought will be about that fucking otter and a smile will cross his face as he expires. His family will interpret it as some divine happenstance but we’ll know the real reason for his seeming peace of mind. In the meantime, I’m probably going to hell for laughing at a dead otter.

Quick summation of the rest of nothing:

New glasses last week to replace the ones I stepped on late last year.

First round of local golf this week I shot 75 like I was falling out of a tree. I might as well quit now…it’s all downhill from there.

Saw “Spike and Mike’s Sick and Twisted Animation Festival at the Cleveland Cinematique last weekend. No dead otters but it was pretty sick.

Though I’d seen vole trails in the backyard after winter and feared the worst, a short burst of warm weather has brought forth many of the tulips they left behind. I’ll get out the camera this weekend and get some pics.



  1. Oh man, that vet totally sucks if he doesn’t know the difference between a cute widdle baby otter fetus and a deadly, fatal tumor.

  2. That vet was so lousy that I’m sure he didn’t even notice that the otter was a male . . . Anyway, thanks for your comments on my blog and just ot let you know, I get all my movies from Netflix! Amazing what people will watch, ne?

  3. I would have paid good money to have seen the look on your doc’s face when you told hilmwhat you ate/drank on vacation. I usually don’t outright lie about what I eat/drink, but I tend to bend the truth a wee bit in my favor as I suspect most others do as well.

  4. oh I’m always completely honest with my doctor. which is why he treats me like a five-year-old haha.

  5. I try to be truthful. But I do wonder what other people tell the doctor. I always imagine people tell the truth and that’s why doctors have such good stories. “You’ll never believe what I heard at the office today…”

    That’s a bummer about the tumor misdiagnosed as a pregnancy. I’m surprised PETA isn’t all over that. It is amusing, I must say. Since it’s such the opposite of what people were expecting, you know?

    Glad you got the other issue checked out. Did he say that could be a one-time thing?

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