Hi. I’m Golf Widow, guest-blogging for azzweepay.

He was kind enough to give me free rein of any topic I cared to cover, which is great, because I don’t know anything about running, unless we’re talking about stockings or my nose.

Coincidentally, azzweepay is taking a golf trip this weekend. I think running makes only slightly more sense than golfing. When you run, you get fit, and you wind up someplace else. When you golf, you hit a small white ball, walk after it (or drive a cart), and hit it again.

I thought, for a while, I would discuss golf. Golf is, to the best of my knowledge, the only sport that anyone can play professionally, as long as they’re good enough, and all they have to do is pay their own way in. In other words, if you’re rich enough, you have time to work on your game, then you can pay to get into the PGA.

Imagine that. Poor, talented people having to hope for someone to sponsor them, finally getting to where they can really shine, and having to compete with people not on the basis of skill, but on the size of their bankrolls.


It’s boring even to think of it, let alone to write about it.

So I’m going off on a bit of a tangent, to bring you a tale of technocrime:

A fourteen year-old boy in Daveport, IA, has just been charged with theft, extortion, and sexual exploitation of a minor after he allegedly stole a female student’s iPod from her purse, then left a note saying he would return the iPod if she emailed him a video of herself performing a sex act.

The Davenport captain of police says that the boy may have stolen at least two other iPods as well.

I’m guessing he had a pretty good gig going before he got caught. Either they agreed, which meant yay, boobies, or they didn’t, which meant yay, new iPod.

Anyway, the kid’s in a spot of trouble now, so I suppose he should have gone with running, or even golf, to pass the time, no matter how boring or tiring they are, nor how much more creative his personal means of entertainment might have been.

Pity, that.

But I further suppose this story ought to have a moral, and the moral is that this kid, a mere amateur, should leave extortion via tiny electronics to the professionals …

… Apple.


  1. Well this was fun. I expected to read Joe over here and we have a guest poster. I’m going to have to check out your pad, Golf Widow. I’ve seen you about, but haven’t been visiting others much lately.

    That’s pretty wild about the 14-year-old. I’m assuming he has a long criminal future ahead of him.

  2. Hellooo? Is anyone home? It’s been about a week now. Did you run off with Golf Widow, Joe?

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